


The Work Husband

by mosylu



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: (not THE Office), F/M, Office AU, just AN office
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-27 04:12:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15016400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mosylu/pseuds/mosylu
Summary: They take lunch together every day, they're always going on slushee runs. Not to mention the memes. Even though they both have partners at home, Cisco Ramon and Caitlin Snow are inseparable at work. Somebody should probably say something.





	The Work Husband

On their second Friday at Mercury Labs, the biosciences department took Iris West and her assistant Yvonne out to lunch.

“It’s so nice having competent people in the HR department,” Dr. Caitlin Snow told Iris. “We’ve needed someone for a long time, but Becky just refused to retire, and she was so awful she drove four assistants away. One of them left in tears.”

“Well, we’re both happy to be here, and God knows it’s a giant mess to clean up. Just before I left for lunch, I found a perfectly completed FMLA application under a dead potted plant.”

Caitlin looked puzzled.

“Which is only horrifying if you’re actually in human resources,” Iris acknowledged with a laugh. “But trust me, it’s a big deal. I don’t think Jessica Fimbres even works here anymore.”

“Jessica? She was Dr. Wells’s admin assistant. She was having a lot of problems with her pregnancy. She got let go because she was missing too much work for morning sickness and doctor’s appointments.”

Iris pressed her fingers to her eyes. “Oh my god. No. That was bullshit; FMLA should have covered her. Oh Jesus.” There went her afternoon. They’d be lucky if Mercury Labs didn’t get sued. Again. “See, it’s all been like that. Don’t get me started.”

“Sounds awful,” Caitlin said, picking olives out of her salad with her fork.

“Well, Becky’s gone and so is Dr. Wells.” That seemed to be the root of all the corruption and all that was left was clearing out the withering vines. “Yvonne and I will get it all figured out. I’ll eat those if you don’t want them.” She loved olives.

Caitlin looked at her gratefully. “You may be my new best friend.”

Iris smiled at her. She liked Caitlin, who seemed to be swimming against the tide of testosterone that was the biosciences department. That was part of the reason she accepted the scientist’s offer of a ride back to the office.

The other part - well. Iris hoped that it didn’t sour Caitlin on her forever.

“Look,” she said, halfway back. “This isn’t official or anything, but it is my job to say it.”

“What’s that?”

“Did Becky ever talk to you about the way you act with Cisco Ramon?”

Caitlin let out a squeak, but that might have been from the giant pickup that had just cut her off. “Learn to drive, fucknugget!” she yelled out the window. She looked guilty at Iris. “Sorry. I yell a lot when I’m driving. Cisco says it’s because I repress my rage everywhere else.”

Iris pried her fingers loose from the oh-fuck bar. “See, that’s kind of what I’m talking about. How close you two are.”

“What do you mean?”

“A lot of people have mentioned it to me, the way you guys are always hanging out. Taking lunches together, going on slushee runs, texting each other memes in the middle of the day, things like that.” Cisco was in the engineering department, a floor away from biosciences. Iris hadn’t been that tight with work buddies who sat the next cubicle over.

She wasn’t about to repeat the salacious speculations she’d been treated to, because they sounded like people with dirty minds and no proof. But the fact that there was speculation at all concerned her, and it should concern Caitlin.

“We’re totally professional at work,” Caitlin said. “Really. The memes - ”

“It’s not about the memes,” Iris said. “It’s about how everyone knows that you have a boyfriend at home.”

“Uh, yeah?”

“Well, I hear Cisco also has a girlfriend. And you two might think that just makes everything okay, but people talk when they see a man and a woman this close at work.”

“You know,” Caitlin said. “Cisco’s bisexual, and pretty open about it. If I were a man, would we be having this same discussion?”

“Probably not,” Iris acknowledged. “Which isn’t fair, I know. And I have no idea what your relationship with your boyfriend is like. Or Cisco’s with his girlfriend. For all I know, all four of you have brunch together every Sunday.”

“Uh - ”

“But when it comes to the way you act in the office, I have to mention it. You understand, right?”

“Of course,” Caitlin said. “It’s your job. I just never realized that people noticed. Or cared.”

“Welcome to the planet,” Iris sighed. “People’s favorite topic of discussion is each other. So, you’ll be more mindful, right? Of how things look?”

“Sure,” Caitlin said. “We can do that.”

* * *

Cisco took a swig of his orange soda. “Wait, wait,” he said. “So the new HR lady sat you down and said, ‘you gotta stop hanging out with that Cisco Ramon, he’s just too blisteringly sexy?’”

“Her name is Iris, and she didn’t say it like that,” Caitlin said. They were taking an afternoon break together in the courtyard, under one of the big shade trees, drinking their drinks and splitting a bag of grapes. (Caitlin had won Rock, Paper, Scissors; Cisco would have gone for the Cheez Doodles from the vending machine.)

“So I’m not blisteringly sexy?”

She wrinkled her nose at him. “It wasn’t official or anything.”

“That’s a relief. My permanent record is clean.”

“Cisco, stop. This is serious.”

“I just think it’s pretty rich, getting scolded about keeping things professional by someone who’s married to a guy from the chemistry division.”

“That’s different, she doesn’t handle Barry’s paperwork, and that’s not the point. She wasn’t scolding me. She wasn’t nasty. She was just gently pointing out that people talk and we should be aware of that.”

“They just suddenly noticed how much we hang out? I’ve been here three years.”

“From the sounds of it, they noticed all along. There were just other things to talk about. Now that things are getting a little better around here, I guess things that didn’t seem like a big deal then, do now.” She fixed him with a beady gaze. “The point is, we have to do something about this.”

“Yeah,” he said, biting his grape in half. “I guess we do.”

* * *

For a few weeks after their talk, Iris thought Caitlin had taken her words to heart. But then the scientist got engaged. She came in with a diamond ring sparkling on her left hand and didn’t say anything about it until people pointed it out. She accepted congratulations with a smile, but Iris noticed that she and Cisco seemed even more inseparable.

She couldn’t count the number of times she ran into the engineer in the biosciences hallway, taking Caitlin a donut from the break room. Then there was the way Caitlin’s name was always blinking on Cisco’s IM software when Iris had to stop by the engineering division. And they were definitely taking lunches together more often.

“Uuuuughhhhh,” she groaned to Barry as they drove to Caitlin’s house two weeks later. “I’m not looking forward to this.”

“Why not?” Barry asked. “It’s an engagement party. Should be nice.”

“She told me that she invited Cisco. Her exact words were, 'I would never leave him out.’  It’s going to be so weird meeting Caitlin’s fiance, knowing how much she and Cisco hang out at work.”

“Why?”

“Babe. I’ve talked about work spouses before, right?”

“Um - ”

“You know, when you have a really close friend of the opposite sex at work …  no?”

He shrugged.

“Okay, think Jim and Pam on _The Office._ ”

“Weren’t they actually married?”

“Not in the first few seasons. They were just hanging out all the time and had all sorts of in-jokes. They were dating other people, but everyone was rooting for them to get together anyway. You know how TV shows do that. When it’s obvious a couple belongs together from their first scene but they just have to drag the tension out.”

“Okay, that’s TV. This is real life. People are friends in real life.”

“Friends is fine. It’s when they start getting so close that it turns into an affair, either emotional or physical. And then the drama leaks over into work, and then the next thing you know, I’m pulling overtime doing the dismissal paperwork because one of them keyed the other’s car when they broke up.”

“Babe,” he said. “Babe, I think working HR at the paper scarred you for life. This is Mercury Labs. People aren’t that crazy here.”

She leveled a look at him. “The last director before Tina McGee was removed from his office in handcuffs. The last HR head is currently in Bali with half the pension fund.”

“Not everyone is that crazy here,” he corrected himself.

“I’m just saying. It can go real bad.”

He gave her a sidelong glance. “Do you have a work husband?”

She looked at him fondly. “Yes. He’s adorable, he works in the chemistry division, and his name is Barry Allen.”

His face relaxed and he rolled his eyes. She blew him a kiss, knowing he would blow it back. “Seriously, though,” he said. “I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Cisco is crazy about his girlfriend. A few weeks ago, he asked me for tips on making a really romantic proposal.”

Iris blinked. “Wait, he what?”

“Yeah, he wants to marry his girlfriend. So, see - ”

“When was this?”

“A few weeks ago, I said. Oh, you think he got the idea from Caitlin getting engaged?” He glanced at the GPS, which was directing him to turn right down a tree-lined suburban street.

“When exactly?”

“God, I don’t know. Does it matter?”

“I’m not sure,” she murmured. She shook her head. “Whatever. You’re right. I’m probably seeing doom and scandal where there’s nothing. This is going to be fine.”

“Right. Help me look for the address.”

“Oh, there!” Iris pointed at a gingerbready Victorian with beautiful flowerbeds. “I recognize Caitlin’s car in the driveway. And … Cisco’s … next to it … ” She trailed off.

“Huh,” Barry said, pulling up next to the curb behind a few other cars. “Guess he got here early.”

“Uh-huh,” Iris said distantly. She climbed out of the car, still staring at Cisco’s car parked next to Caitlin’s.

When Barry rang the bell, it was Cisco who answered it. “Hey, you made it! What’s that?”

“It’s for Caitlin,” Iris said, holding out the bottle of wine. “Hostess gift.”

“Awww, sweet, she loves this kind.” He took it from her. “I’ll put it in the kitchen. You guys want anything? There’s beer, soft drinks, wine - ”

Barry sniffed the air. “Do I smell meatballs?”

“Oh yeah, come get a plate! Kitchen’s this way.”

Iris watched Cisco weave his way through the people in the living room, saying quick hellos, and responding with smiles to their words. “Is it me, or does he seem really, really at home here?”

Barry shrugged. “He’s probably over here a lot.” He kissed her cheek. “Want a white wine?”

“Uh-huh,” she said. “Sure. Go get your meatballs, babe.”

Barry grinned at her and set off in search of a plate he could inhale.

She wandered around the room, momentarily lost in the crowd of family members and outside-work friends, none of whom she knew. It was a pretty house, just the kind of place she could see Caitlin keeping. Glossy hardwood floors, perfectly coordinating furniture, gauzy curtains in the windows, pictures on the mantelpiece. She stepped up to look at them.

That was where Barry found her a few minutes later. “Hey,” he said, mouth full. “These are awesome. You should have some.” He handed her a glass of wine. “So did you get to meet Caitlin’s fiance?”

“I think you were talking with him,” she said.

Barry craned his neck, peering back at the people in the kitchen. “Which one?”

She reached up and took his chin, redirecting his gaze to the pictures on the mantel -

Which were full of Cisco and Caitlin.

Cisco and Caitlin in formal wear at some kind of family wedding, Cisco and Caitlin sprawled on a picnic blanket grinning at each other, and most of all, Cisco and Caitlin kissing, smiling against each others’ lips, clearly madly in love.

“Whoa,” Barry said. “Cisco is Caitlin’s boyfriend?”

“Fiance,” Iris corrected.

“When did that happen?”

“Awhile ago, by the looks of it.” She shook her head, staring at the photos. “Unbelievable.”

“Huh,” Barry said. Suddenly he grinned. “So that means - ”

“I know what that means,” Iris grumbled, elbowing him. “Can you go get me some of those meatballs?” They did smell amazing.

“Sure,” he said, chortling to himself.

Iris turned to scan the room, and almost immediately spotted Caitlin, making her way in from another room. Caitlin saw her at the same time. Iris gave her a little wave, and Caitlin worked her way through the people the same way that Cisco had, saying hellos and welcomes, and accepting congratulations.

Finally, she stood in front of Iris. “Hi,” she said softly.

“Hi,” Iris responded, smiling wryly at her. “This is a really lovely home you two have.”

Caitlin’s face scrunched. “You figured it out.”

“Mhmm. And I kind of feel like a moron.”

Caitlin pressed her hands to her cheeks, laughing and looking regretful at the same time. “I’m so sorry! In the car last month, I couldn’t figure out why you were even saying that at first. It never crossed my mind that you didn’t know. I mean, we had to tell Becky, and our address is the same on all our paperwork, and we’re listed as each other’s emergency contacts.”

Iris shook her head. “I can’t even begin to explain how much Becky’s filing system was a nightmare. We’ll be lucky if we get it sorted out by Christmas. But why the secrecy with everyone else?”

Caitlin toyed with her engagement ring. “Well, when I started there five years ago, I just never talked about my private life. It’s not my style, really. Even after I met Cisco and we got serious about each other, I just said I had a boyfriend and not much more.”

“I can understand that,” Iris said. Women in a male-dominated profession always had to walk a razor’s edge of how much personal information they gave out. Too little and you came off as a cold and soulless workaholic, too much and you were that woman who couldn’t talk about anything but her boyfriend. You couldn’t win.

“Then, when Cisco got the job in the engineering division, he didn’t want to mention it at first because he didn’t want people saying he just got hired because I worked there. He can be proud like that. And the longer we went like that, the more awkward it would have been to say, 'so you know the boyfriend I’ve been with the past several years? It’s actually Cisco.’”

“So when I warned you off from hanging out with your own boyfriend - ”

“I meant what I said. I had no idea people cared. And then of course, Cisco thought it was just the funniest thing that people thought we were cheating on each other with each other.”

Cisco’s big laugh rang out over the party. Iris glanced through into the kitchen to see Barry swatting his shoulder and laughing, too. She narrowed her eyes at Cisco, who grinned hugely back at her. Clearly the whole situation had tickled him pink.

His eyes shifted over to Iris’s right, and softened. _Okay?_ he mouthed, and out of the corner of her eye, Iris saw Caitlin nod.

He blew a kiss, and Iris turned to see Caitlin smiling back at him, eyes soft.

How had she never noticed the way they looked at each other before? She had, Iris answered herself. But she’d chalked it up to cheating waiting to happen, not a devoted long-time couple.

Caitlin examined her anxiously. “Are you mad?”

“Mostly at myself,” Iris said. “That’ll teach me to listen to rumors instead of checking out the facts on my own.” She shook her head. “I should have sat you down and said, 'so tell me what your relationship is with Cisco’ instead of launching right into an unofficial scold. I’m sorry.”

“It wasn’t that much of a scold.”

“So am I deputized to tell everyone the truth on Monday morning?”

“Not just you,” Caitlin said. “We’ve invited a few other people from work that we’ve been wanting to get to know better, and both of us are going to take in pictures to put up by our desks. It’ll get around.” She grimaced. “I’m not looking forward to the next week or so.”

“It’ll die down.” There would be lots of talk in the breakroom and over the company Slack, but the next scandal would come along soon enough.

“So now that you know I’m hanging out with my fiance and not just a work pal, does the scold still count?”

“Mmm, as long as you’re not making out in the stairwell or having quickies in the stationary closet, you’re probably okay.”

“Well, there was this one time - ”

“Okay, I’m going to stop you right there. There are some things that, as your HR professional, I absolutely cannot know, capisce?”

Caitlin giggled. “Got it.”

“Great.” Iris linked her arm through Caitlin’s. “So, now that we’ve got that cleared up, show me the rest of the house.”

FINIS


End file.
